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 On the home front in personal time, I’ve kept up with painting. This sounds like a no-brainer and something that I do all the time, but not true. It’s taken me years to view painting as a serious endeavor that has spiritual, emotional and monetary value because it just FEELS TOO GOOD! Part of the attitude that makes it “feel” like play is the thing that makes us not take it seriously. It’s taken a while to get past that. (Besides, where did that belief come from that work can’t be fun? Any ideas?)

And past it, I am~ For the past few months I’ve done tons of paintings… tons in respect to the amount of complexity and work that has gone into them, probably not numbers- but the time that’s went into these I could have done 50 one-layered acrylics. The inspiration behind these new pieces have more to do with the appreciation of complexity and ambiguity, facets and relationships.

The idea is that we are different people, not in the multiple personality disorder (Dissociative Identity Disorder) type of way, but realistically within one day. Think of the people you come across throughout a day… are you the same to each person? Is your relationship with your daughter the same as that with your father? Do you appear the same way to a stranger at a gas station as you do your Mom? If you acted the same way with your boss as with your best friend, you’d probably get fired, ha ha.

If we think of ourselves in terms of who we are to the people we come in contact with, and then the different facets they see within us- happy, moody, sad, goofy, irritated, spacey- we are in fact- many people squared. With this thought in mind (or many thoughts in mind) I tried to pull many faces of one person into one painting that has turned out to be, in a way, emotional cubism (think Pablo Picasso). I painted many variations of the same parts of a face in different colors (different emotions) and then tied them together with one line. ßmore on this later.

After getting the piece the way I wanted it (or it wanted itself) on a flat, 2-D level, I built up the painting with clear resin. That stuff can go on thiiiiick ;) In between each layer of resin, I painted something--- and something INTERESTING happened: it looks 3-D!! The more opaque the paint, the closer the object looks… the thinner and disappearing the paint, the further away it looks. Hadn’t expected that~ So not only do we have dimensions on a flat level, it’s also projecting and receding as you can see the other layers of pictures/paint/doo dads under it.

Ah, with anything this much fun, there is the danger of overdoing it, which I did. The thing looks horribly gaudy (but I like it). It was fun, so I just kept going.

The next piece is one that will be simpler, yet as complex in thought. It will celebrate the unity of all of creation into one force as the celebration of all experiences into one person. You are part of all that has touched you (whether you wanted the experience or not) and also of all that you’ve touched. This thought requires as much surrender to accept experiences as it does accountability to what you become part of, as well~ a seeming paradox, but realistic one that follows us throughout our lives.

While doing the inspiration piece, I videoed the process- almost start to finish, just to give an idea of what was going on throughout the process. The only part I didn’t video was the beginning, the part where I just drew a black line all over the canvas. No thought process there, just the faith that God would guide me to creative wisdom throughout the process. I had the faith to show up at the canvas and allow God to move through me, even though I had no forethought or expectation of what was to come.

I showed up, drew the curvy line and waited… and looked at it with an open mind and heart. Soon, ideas started to flow in and I was involved, taking dictation at times it seemed, and then enjoying the process of creation without stress and worry about “getting it right”. I felt that if this piece wasn’t something “sellable” (something the public determines, not me), then it would be something enjoyable and something that would inspire other works that would also have purpose. Remember when the Lord created everything, He was pleased.

And so it is with me too. Why would His creation be any different?
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Wow, I thought I started a paragraph about the Gospel of Thomas, but can't find it on this blog. Funny- so if you see a sentence started somewhere that makes no sense, thats what its about, haha. Anyway, after watching some documentary on the theory of Jesus having gone to India and studying with Hindu scholars, I was moved to read up on the Gospel of Thomas.

I'm an avid studier of Jesus (and other prophets/mystics) and want to put His teachings in visual form- much is anyway as in my piece The Seed Sower. Throughout this, I'm also working on the Journey into Motherhood series, dedicated to our child-to-be, full of the experiences and thoughts that came into being before our being comes into being :)

Much of the text is confusing--- very cryptic- such as "84. Jesus said, 'When you see your likeness, you are happy. But when you see your images that came into being before you and that neither die nor become visible, how much you will have to bear!' " What could that mean?

I'm thinking the scripture as a whole is ambiguous so people can apply it to themselves in whatever time and situation they find themselves in~ none of the writing is concrete at all. Gotta love that! So much of the scholarly speak hinges on that his teachings were time related and contextual (for the specific people who were dealing with a specific issue), but I don't- I don't believe that he was teaching the present people as much as everyone... that the sermons given at the time is meant to be applied in the particular way you think in your time.

But, going there, the first part is easy-

“When you see your likeness, you are happy...”: when you see someone like yourself/your child/people who look like you/same religion, values, race, gender? “you are happy”. Able to relate to them? Alive? When you see living people alive?

“But when you see your images that came into being before you...: Ancestors? Anthropology? "and that neither die nor become visible...": Angels? Dead people? Bodies? Because they’re already dead? Their spirits? Ghosts? How can you see something that isn’t visible? Could be about bones, anthropology- “how much you will have to bear!” Anxiety, worry… When you see people like you, you’re happy, but when you are faced with having the same outcome of your predecessors, you’re going to get anxious? But then, that’s my interpretation. If it doesn’t “become visible”, its probably mental apparitions, thoughts- possibly?

The text is filled with passages like this- simple, wise, amorphous.

In many places, the 5 major religions might be the topic- the family of 5 quote, in particular.

“16. Jesus said, "Perhaps people think that I have come to cast peace upon the world. They do not know that I have come to cast conflicts upon the earth: fire, sword, war. (OK, having shaken the foundation of their belief system…)

For there will be five in a house: (Judaism, Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism- “house” as in unity, they are of the same family) there'll be three against two and two against three, father against son and son against father, and they will stand alone." (Stand alone as in solitary? Or lonliness, having lacked something? Kept separate?)  

 The quote “After all, what goes into your mouth will not defile you; rather, it's what comes out of your mouth that will defile you," should be yelled off mountain tops :) 
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